1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where do you keep yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their backside to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually!
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". You better believe it! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? They need help!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Dude, I paid $10 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you mate ?
7. When something is 'new and improved! Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short." What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus had come would I be standing here?
10. When you are already waiting for a lift or at a pedestrian crossing and someone comes up and presses the button. Oh, so thats what you have to do, I would never have thought of that!
11. When your watching sports and the announcer says, "the team is giving 150%." Hey, I have an idea. Give me 50 % of your salary, and keep 100% for yourself.
12. When you say, "don't look now," and their heads whip around. What part of don't look don't people understand?
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