Dear Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and
you.
I've have learned real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all
her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not
only the passion Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you won't care for her because she is so much older than me,
she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for
all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure f or AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your son, John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card, that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come
home.