Global Warming Theory

Governments all over the world have been coming up with hard to sell ways to combat global warming, but I have discovered an easy way to do it.

BACKGROUND:

1) In 1974 Canada switched from Fahrenheit to Celsius.

2) First, we take the year the maximum temperature occurred in every Canadian province and territory during the 20th century. I think we would all agree that the average year would be around 1950. This comes about because 50 is the average of for numbers 1 to 100.



THEORY: The best way to combat global warming is to switch to Celsius.

PROOF:

The record temperatures for each province and territory occurred in the following years:
Saskatchewan - 1937
Manitoba - 1936
British Columbia - 1941
Alberta - 1931
Ontario - 1919
Newfoundland - 1914
Quebec - 1921
New Brunswick - 1935
Northwest - 1941
Nova Scotia - 1935
P.E.I - 1935
Yukon - 1969
Nunavut - 1973
average year - >1937

If my theory holds true we can ignore all years after 1974 because Celsius has such an effect on temperature that the probability of reaching a new record after 1974 would be 0%. interestingly enough, if you look at the data above, you can see that all maximum temperatures occurred prior to 1974.

So, now our new data set only included the years 1900 to 1974. With this data, completely random years would produce an average of 1937. AND look at that, the average year of maximum temperature in Canada is 1937. Not only that, but hottest temperature ever recorded in occurred in 1937.



Bonus INFO...
All temperatures were recorded in degrees F as shown below:

Midale/Sweetgrass -> 113 in 1937
St. Albans -> 112 in 1936
Lillooet/Lytton/Chinook Cove -> 112 in 1941
Bassano Dam -> 110 in 1931
Biscotasing -> 108 in 1919
Northwest River -> 107 in 1914
Ville Marie -> 104 in 1921
Nepisiguit Falls -> 103 in 1935
Fort Smith -> 103 in 1941
Collegeville -> 101 in 1935
Charlottetown -> 98 in 1935
Mayo -> 97 in 1969
Ariat -> 93 in 1973

In this note: Rahul K-P (notes)

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Updated about 2 weeks ago

Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

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Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

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Dear Abby,

I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

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Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

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Dear Abby,

I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it would never happen again.

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Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

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Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

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Dear Abby,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

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Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

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Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going through mental pause.

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Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex - and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Pigeons

I was working LONG hours on this project at the University over the weekend, so it was nice to have a change on scenery yesterday (Monday)...
Apparently, they had flown in early on Sunday morning through one of the open windows. They could not figure out how to get out because the main large window does not open, and their bird brains probably are not working at full potential after trying to smash through the window. Armed with a milk crate, a large nail, and long wire, I set a bird trap just like I had done as a child.
The idea was to entice the pigeons one at a time under the crate and pull the wire. We put some crumbs and water and waited. It worked like a charm.

Next, we slid some cardboard under the crate and took the pigeon outside.
Unfortunately, we were not so successful with the other pigeon. The pigeon flew up the rafters and went to sleep.

On Tuesday the remaining pigeon noticed the freed pigeon flying outside, and tried to get out again. This time the he figured out how to go out the open window and way he went.

Dear Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and
you.
I've have learned real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all
her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not
only the passion Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you won't care for her because she is so much older than me,
she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for
all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure f or AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your son, John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card, that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come
home.

How Company Projects Really Work

The documentation part is priceless. So true!

Dirty Hotel Secrets

Part 1

Dirty Hotel Secrets

Here is the Follow up story...

The price of a House

Apparently, buying a house in Canada is much more affordable than other countries.

BUT, three BC cities are in the top 25 least affordable housing markets - Kelowna, Vancouver, and Victoria.
The median multiple refers to how long it would take you to pay for your house if you put 100% of your income towards your home(neglecting infla.

Here are the most affordable cities:

Source: http://www.demographia.com/dhi.pdf

Things that make you go AAHHHH

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where do you keep yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their backside to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually!

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". You better believe it! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? They need help!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Dude, I paid $10 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you mate ?

7. When something is 'new and improved! Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short." What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus had come would I be standing here?

10. When you are already waiting for a lift or at a pedestrian crossing and someone comes up and presses the button. Oh, so thats what you have to do, I would never have thought of that!

11. When your watching sports and the announcer says, "the team is giving 150%." Hey, I have an idea. Give me 50 % of your salary, and keep 100% for yourself.

12. When you say, "don't look now," and their heads whip around. What part of don't look don't people understand?

Shortage of Mascot - funny.

This article really made me laugh, especially the part about how surprised officials were with the popularity of the Sumi mascot. Most host Olympic cities seem to have one mascot, but Vancouver 2010 has three. I guess they figure they can make triple the $$ by producing 3 different ones. Or if you don't want to fork over the $90 to get all three, maybe at least one of them will be "cute enough" for you to purchase.

At the time of their release last month, my first impression was, they looked like Pokemon, a big brown ugly square paper bag, and the third one, Sumi (pronounced Sue Me - as in what happens if you even think of the Olympic symbol without paying royalties to VANOC) which I thought was slightly better than the other two. Although, after seeing previous Olympic mascots, I think these could be much much worse. Type in "olympic mascots" in Google and click on images to know see for yourself.

Okay, now to the funny part. They tested public reaction by showing these to grade school children in order to classify the marketability. I understand that children do have a lot of sway on what their parents buy, but last time I checked a second grader doesn't have the final say. Especially if your buying a souvenir for a friend or a Christmas present for a child. Now they are shocked that they are out of the Sumi because they assumed he wouldn't sell like the other two simply because some elementary kids told them so. I know if I were to buy a souvenir for someone it wouldn't be some $45 sasquatch in the shape of paper bag - it would be Sumi.

Which Olympic mascot do you like the best? You can see them at this site.

What the World Eats...

Germany : The Melander family of Bargteheide

Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07
Favourite foods: fried potatoes with onions, bacon and herring, fried noodles with eggs and cheese, pizza, vanilla pudding

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United States: The Revis family of North Carolina

Food expenditure for one week : $341.98
Favourite foods : spaghetti, potatoes, sesame chicken

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Japan: The Ukita family of Kodaira City

Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or $317.25
Favourite foods : sashimi, fruit, cake, potato chips

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Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily

Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11
Favourite foods: fish, pasta with ragu, hot dogs, frozen fish sticks

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Great Britain: The Bainton family of Cllingbourne Ducis

Food expenditure for one week : 155.54 British Pounds or $253.15
Favourite foods: avocado, mayonnaise sandwich, prawn cocktail, chocolate fudge cake with cream

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Kuwait : The Al Haggan family of Kuwait City

Food expenditure for one week : 63.63 dinar or $221.45
Family recipe: Chicken biryani with basmati rice

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Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca

Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09
Favourite foods: pizza, crab, pasta, chicken

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China : The Dong family of Beijing

Food expenditure for one week: 1,233.76 Yuan or $155.06
Favourite foods: fried shredded pork with sweet and sour sauce

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Poland : The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna

Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27
Family recipe: Pig's knuckles with carrots, celery and parsnips

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United States : The Caven family of California

Food expenditure for one week : $159.18
Favourite foods: beef stew, berry yogurt sundae, clam chowder, ice cream

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Egypt : The Ahmed family of Cairo

Food expenditure for one week : 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53
Family recipe: Okra and mutton

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Mongolia: The Batsuuri family of Ulaanbaatar

Food expenditure for one week: 41,985.85 togrogs or $40.02
Family recipe: Mutton dumplings

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Ecuador : The Ayme family of Tingo

Food expenditure for one week : $31.55
Family recipe: Potato soup with cabbage

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Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village

Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03
Family recipe: Mushroom, cheese and pork

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Chad : The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp

Food expenditure for one week : 685 CFA Francs or $1.23
Favourite foods: Anything edible!!